I hate the way I think. I hate that I can’t help thinking this way. I know it’s not right and I can’t stop it. what is wrong w me!! Why am I so sensitive and obsessive!!! I’m broken :-(
I’m so overwhelmed right now and tired and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever.
There are so many things I want to tell Jesse all of the time. I want to tell him how good he makes me feel, and how much I care about him. I have never been so in love with anyone before and I know it has not been very long but I am so happy that things are working out the way that they are. We are both insane and crazy and jealous and it think that is why we work so well together. I don’t know. All I know is I am really happy right now and I feel so many things for him. He’s so talented and smart and loving. He’s also the funniest person I’ve ever met. I just can’t believe that we are together and he likes me as much as I like him. It’s so nice. I want to give him everything and make him feel as good as he deserves to feel. I also appreciate the way he treats me and the way he cares about me because no one has ever done that to me before. Everyone I have ever been with was not as invested as I was or didn’t feel the same way I felt and it sucked. It made me feel so shitty and insecure and worthless. But Jesse makes me feel like I can do anything and everything and it’s just nice to have him by my side. I love him!!!! Sorry this has been so sappy I had to let it out somewhere!!! I want to like run around and shake people and scream in their faces about how much I like him. I am insane. What is wrong w me!!! Haha he makes me ten times crazier than I already am
Jesse said he l***** me last night and I’m the happiest girl in the world :-)
I’ve never had to deal with the amount of attention my boyfriend has received from other girls because normally the people I am dating don’t have many friends or they aren’t as physically attractive as possible. This is really new to me and extremely hard for me to deal with. It’s not like girls are hitting on Jesse left and right but they are being flirty and it’s so scary to me. I’m so confused?? I know you know he is dating me because I have either met you or you follow us on a social network where you see us post about each other? It’s just so disheartening. I trust Jesse and I don’t worry about him doing anything stupid. If anything it breaks my heart knowing that these people are taking the time to like, try and pry themselves somewhere that they know they aren’t welcome or they know is wrong. It’s hurtful and I hate it. I don’t know why they can’t just find someone that isn’t already devoted to someone to make them happy. It’s mind-boggling to me.
I’m honestly so happy w Jesse idk how he exists he’s literally everything I look for in a significant other. I’m so lucky to have someone who thinks so highly of me especially since I think so highly of him. It’s just nice to finally be on the same page with someone. I’ve never been this happy and content before. It’s exciting!
I am dying right now because I am in a hotel room with my grandparents, my mom, and my cousin, and my grandparents made a joke about them having sex and they won’t stop going with it. We are laying in the dark and they are whispering and making yelling noises and I’m crying and getting nauseous and my mom said something about making GRANNY PORN. The worst part is my grandparents last name is hooker… So they keep making old people porn hooker jokes and I’m going to throw up I hate my life……… Literally just whispered “are you ready yet… This way or that way” and I’m gonna cry
Jesse left for japan today. I was so anxious all day but now I’m feeling better. I’m just nervous about the plane ride. Once he’s there and I know he’s safe I’ll feel better. I hope he has a lot of fun. :-) I’m gonna miss him so much. But I’m excited to start getting ready for school and stuff!!!