Boys are cool. It’s cool meeting people who are genuinely interested in hanging out with me. I was talking to sirena and patty about it, they made me realize. Like, yeah, it felt amazing feeling the way I felt about josh. But imagine how it would feel to feel that way about someone who feels the same way about me. Wowee. B) I can’t even imagine how happy I will be. (◡‿◡)~
Anonymous asked: The window to the soul lies in the eyes. You have a soul that will forever drain the life out of men of all ages. Take advantage of that by using men to get what you want instead of being nieve and believing that the one true soul for you is at college or in your life at this time. When you find that one soul that is your mirror, you will know and they will know. Be strong and hold yourself accountable to your life. Be alone and free for now.
Easier said than done, my friend. I’m trying. I’m in a really unfamiliar place in my life right now and I’m just taking it a day at a time! I’m very confused but I know everything takes time. It’s really hard suppressing my feelings, too. Idk!!! I’m a big dumb idiot baby.
My friend told me today that men are opportunists and I couldn’t agree more. It sucks so hard. I hate that I have such strong emotions and that I can’t suppress them. But I guess I’ll learn eventually
I tried distracting myself by talking to a million boys (like, literally just having conversations w them nothing sexual) but it didn’t really work. But I think I’m making progress. :) I just feel lonely but it’s okay because it gives me time to pamper myself and take care of the things I have to get done. So far things are better than I thought they would be, so that’s good. I’m not wallowing around anymore, and I don’t feel a weird empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. So that’s good. :’) and I’ve been feeling like eating again. Heck yeah.
Anonymous asked: Hey bud are you ok? i know your having a rough time i was wondering if maybe youd like to talk about it?
I’m okay! I don’t really think that there’s too much to talk about honestly!!! I’ll be fine. I just gotta give it time n stuff, ya no?but thanks :3
"That’s what really scares me.
Falling in love is easy. Having sex is easier. But bumping into someone that can spark your soul - that shit is rare.
You could fuck four, five, all the people in a god damned room and you’d only feel a connection with one. Or none at all.
And what sucks is despite the undeniable real magnetic pull between the two of you, more often than not, you don’t end up together.
I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else I can connect with.
I’m scared it’ll be just you." -Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Connection (via thewastedgeneration)
I really hope he meant it when he said that maybe one day we can be together. Even if it just means as friends. I have never had such a strong connection with a boy like I do with him. And I know that probably scares him when I say it. But I just want what’s best for him. I want him to heal and be the best he can. I want him to wake up in the morning and not have to struggle or think about how he is going to have to get through the day without using. I want him to be able to love someone; even if it isn’t me. I want him to be able to feel like he’s a normal person with a normal life. I want him to be able to love me. But that’s really selfish. And right now, he can’t. He might never. He deserves to be happy. And I hope that he will be happy sooner than later. He’s one of the strongest, most talented people I know. And I am really lucky I know him. I need to step back and realize that him being alone is what will help him the most and even though it hurts me, it’s what he needs. If I really want all these things for him, the best way I can help him is by leaving him alone.
I feel a lot better already. I need to start working on myself. School is priority. I’ll be okay. :’) it’s okay to be alone and it’s even fun sometimes. I can do this!!!!!